Listening to the client and then repeating
How Paraphrasing Builds EmpathyHow does paraphrasing affect the client-counsellor relationship? Show
First of all, it helps the client to feel both heard and understood. The client brings their material, daring to share that with you. And you show that you’re listening by giving them a little portion of that back – the part that feels the most important. You paraphrase it down. And if you do that accurately and correctly, and it matches where the client is, the client is going to recognise that and to feel heard: ‘Finally, somebody is there really listening, really understanding what it is that I am bringing.’ This keys right into empathy, because it’s about building that empathic relationship with the client. And empathy is not a one-way transaction.
In other words, we walk in somebody’s shoes as if their reality is our reality – but of course it’s not our reality, and that’s where the ‘as if’ comes in. I’ve heard this rather aptly described as ‘walking in the client’s shoes, but keeping our socks on’! Empathy is a two-way transaction – that is, it’s not enough for us to be 100% in the client’s frame of reference, understanding their true feelings; the client must also perceive that we understand. When the client feels at some level that they have been understood, then the empathy circle is complete. 7 MIN READ Hear What People Are Really SayingListening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness and on the quality of your relationships with others. For instance:
Given all the listening that we do, you would think we'd be good at it! In fact, most of us are not, and research suggests that we only remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear, as described by Edgar Dale's Cone of Experience. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers, or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation. Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25-50 percent, but what if they're not? Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you can improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What's more, you'll avoid conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success! Click here to view a transcript of this video. Tip:Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. Understanding your own personal style of communicating will go a long way toward helping you to create good and lasting impressions with others. About Active ListeningThe way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening." This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated. In order to do this, you must pay attention to the other person very carefully. You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counterarguments while the other person is still speaking. Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying. Tip:If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. This will reinforce their message and help you to stay focused. To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what they're saying. To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you've ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying. You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it's even worthwhile continuing to speak. It feels like talking to a brick wall and it's something you want to avoid. Get the Free NewsletterLearn career skills every week, and get a bonus workbook 8 Ways to Build Great Relationships at Work, free! Read our Privacy Policy Acknowledgment can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple "uh huh." You aren't necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening can also help you to pay attention. Try to respond to the speaker in a way that will encourage them to continue speaking, so that you can get the information that you need. While nodding and "uh huhing" says you're interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said also communicates that you are listening and understanding his message. Tip:Be aware that active listening can give others the impression that you agree with them even if you don't. It’s also important to avoid using active listening as a checklist of actions to follow, rather than really listening. It may help to practice Mindful Listening if you find that you lose focus regularly. Becoming an Active ListenerThere are five key active listening techniques you can use to help you become a more effective listener: 1. Pay AttentionGive the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.
2. Show That You're ListeningUse your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged.
3. Provide FeedbackOur personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions.
Tip:If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so. And ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX. Is that what you meant?" 4. Defer JudgmentInterrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.
5. Respond AppropriatelyActive listening is designed to encourage respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting her down.
InfographicClick on the thumbnail image below to see Active Listening represented in an infographic:  Key Points It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening skills are as bad as many people's are, then you'll need to do a lot of work to break these bad habits. There are five key techniques you can use to develop your active listening skills:
Start using active listening techniques today to become a better communicator, improve your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships. What is the ultimate goal when you encounter a client who is dissatisfied?When handling an unhappy client, the ultimate goal is to: make client happy enough to pay for the service and return.
What should you do if your client is gossiping?What should you do if your client is gossiping? Change the subject as soon as you can. What should you do if you find yourself at odds with a coworker? Seek help from someone you respect.
How do you earn clients trust and loyalty you should always?To earn a client's trust and loyalty, you need to always approach a new client in a formal and reserved manner. select a single style option you feel the client will like best. Providing the client with a portfolio of your work will help him or her to see how well you have styled other clients in the past.
What is the most critical step of the 10 step consultation process?➢ Review the consultation- Reiterate everything you have discussed by saying something like, “What I heard you say is…” Use precise terms and visuals to demonstrate the end result; this is the most critical step of the consultation process.
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